As I have some time off, I thought I’d go for it energy wise for the afternoon. Yesterday, I went to the local (ish) National Botanic Gardens of Wales for a brief walk then drove in the other direction to have a Gregg’s sandwich and vegan sausage roll in the car while looking at the sea. There was a fair bit of driving involved.
I saw this cow statue and had a bit of a wet walk but it was good!
I haven’t been there in nearly 2 years since I went with a friend for his birthday. It poured it down with rain that day so I got lucky yesterday really!
Anyway, there was a lot of driving and a fair bit of walking. AND I DID IT. I didn’t even feel too tired last night. I was really surprised.
Then today came. I woke up about 7.30am and - again - was surprised that I felt surprisingly ok. Massive turning point? Eh, not exactly. As the morning progressed, I realised I actually had energy for about an hour of the day. Now I’m in a weird limbo. I can’t really be bothered to do much of anything and I’m frustrated I couldn’t have just slept through the morning.
I’m able to do stuff but everything is an effort. It’s a strange feeling. Fatigue feels different than tiredness. Sometimes, I swear even breathing feels more like effort than it should really when I hit this level of fatigue. It’s annoying because even just playing a game or watching a film feels like hassle. In many ways, the ideal state feels like simply staring into space for the next erm…10 hours before I go to bed again? It feels like a write off of a day. I’ll still end up doing slightly more than I should because I only have a few more days before I go back to work, but I’m still going to have to pace myself massively for the rest of the day.
In contrast, when I went to the Botanic Gardens in November 2019, we spent many more hours there then spent the rest of the day/evening together and I was still fine the next day because of course I was - I was healthy then!
That’s a bit annoying. Progress is great but this balancing act stuff is infuriating sometimes. Still, at least I did it, huh?