Every few days, I think back to a strange (ish) encounter I experienced just before the pandemic hit.
It was February 2020. A time where we didn’t know what was to come and God, don’t you want to go back to that naivety? I was a bit stressed at the time.
My Mum had some extra health problems going on and I wasn’t at my best (of course, we know why now!) and life was just a bit tiring really. In hindsight, nothing compared to what was to come but it’s all relative, isn’t it? I felt in need of a holiday. I remember exclaiming how much I just wanted to survive until Easter and then I was going to go away for a weekend to re-energise. Hopefully with a friend. Stupid 2020.
Anyway, back in February, I was in my local city centre. I’d just wrapped up going to therapy for one week and was hanging around the shopping centre for a bit. I’d ordered my favourite lunch from a nearby street food truck (halloumi wrap with chilli cheese fries, in case you were wondering) and they were a bit behind so told me to come back in about 10-15 minutes.
I didn’t have much to do and the weather wasn’t great so I took shelter in the shopping centre and waited outside HMV. I was looking down at my phone, checking work emails because I’m awful at living in the moment and had no idea that a month later, I would desperately wish I could just people watch for a bit. Ohh, those naive days.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a woman approach me. She seemed harmless enough. Carrying a few Primark bags. I figured she was going to ask me for directions to somewhere.
“Hello…Sorry, I can see you’re really busy but I need to talk to you about something”
Ohhh, a sales person or maybe someone pushing some kind of religion. Oh well, I’ll humour her.
“That’s ok. What’s up?” (or similar. It’s been a while!)
“You look like a very nice person. A kind person. I need to tell you that life is fleeting. So fleeting. Don’t miss out”
“Oh?”
She continued in that vein. She didn’t really have anything to push. I kept waiting for a leaflet. Something that would suggest I was targetted in some way and that she was simply moving from person to person on a mission. Instead, she just kept telling me how busy I seemed but that I should remember that life was very fleeting and to not miss out on, well, life. She mentioned how I had a kind face so she felt like she should talk to me about it because it was important. Then she apologised for keeping me away from what I was doing and told me to be safe.
When she walked off, I kept an eye on her. Honestly, I was waiting to see if she was moving onto the next person. I assumed it was ‘something’ and that I was one of many. I wasn’t. The shopping centre was busy but she just walked through the crowd of people for a way until I saw her turn a corner and that was that. She looked like every other shopper with a purpose. Like she’d just needed to stop for a moment to talk. Just to me.
A month later, I needed an urgent ultrasound for what I would later find out was endometriosis (only my first condition to acquire in the past 18 months!) and then the pandemic hit and life fell apart. Life was fleeting.
It was probably all a bizarre coincidence. And yet, it’s weird. I think back to that moment sort of fondly. I still feel like I should have used what she said better. I’m not sure how. She was right. Life is fleeting. Should I have done something differently in those few weeks I had left before the country locked down? I’m not sure. There wasn’t really enough time for huge sweeping changes.
I did what I could with those weeks. I still had enjoyable times but I guess it makes me wish I hugged people a little tighter. Looked at the world more. Just taken it all in and accepted that while I was stressed, things could have been (and would be) a lot worse.
I don’t know, but I feel I should do something with that experience. Whatever her reason for talking to me, she had a good point.